My 17 month old daughter may not know it, but she learned about the birds and the bees at the zoo last weekend.
It came from the strangest animal too. She didn’t see it with the monkeys, or the lions. She saw it with the tortoises.
Sure enough, they were doing the dirty deed, all while the zoo keeper was in cleaning their cage.
At first it looked like the tortoise was just trying to escape. It looked as though it was climbing the wall. But alas, it was not a wall underneath the animal. It was another tortoise.
As we were walking away from the animal pornography, a little boy yelled to his dad, “Hey! I can see the baby!”
The funniest thing about the whole situation was that I had no idea tortoises made any noise. But they do. Oh, they do.
She learned it. Finally.
Not that I was looking forward to this, but I definitely didn’t prevent it. My daughter learned the word “no”.
It was as if she woke up one day with an attitude and it hasn’t gone away yet. She even has given me the ‘stink eye’! What 16 month old know’s how to make a ‘stink eye’?!?!
The first time she used ‘the word’, we were in the grocery store and her dad was going to leave with her since she was making a scene. She said “nononononono” over and over again.
Then she said it again the next day when I was trying to get her out of the car and was taking her book away from her. This time it was a simple “no”.
Now she says it all the time. She has decided that she doesn’t want to give up anything. If it is in her hands, you better not touch it unless she offers it to you.
If just her saying “no” wasn’t enough, she has also started the tantrums. I thought that the time she cried as we took a doll away from her at a store was a tantrum. I was so wrong. So very, very wrong.
Her tantrums are moments of pure anger. She doesn’t necessarily cry. She screams. In short intervals. And she hits and throws things. Usually her tantrums only last a few seconds (yeah, I know this won’t last, they will soon be MUCH longer) so they are still kind of comical. I have even caught myself laughing OUT LOUD when she is throwing one.
Oh, how I love toddlers.
We took E. up sledding last weekend in Flagstaff. I was so excited because J. and I both love to ski and snowboard and it was a chance to introduce her to her new career. (I plan on her being a pro skier and giving us some of her millions to live off of)
Anyways, she had TONS of fun getting dressed…
But pretty much hated everything else. We forced her down the hill three times and by the last time, she was done. She refused to stand, sit or even be held while sitting in the snow.
Isn’t a crying toddler trying to walk in the snow cute? I’m such a good mom.
When my daughter was born, my husband’s uncle gave him a 6 foot tall blow up Gumby doll. Apparently it is something J. had when he was a little boy so his uncle thought it would be a fun toy for our little girl.
Her first encounter was a disaster to say the least. I blew it up, stood it up in our loft and it fell over. My daughter screamed. She was absolutely terrified of it. So I deflated it and put it away.
Just yesterday, I decided it had been long enough and I would try again. I blew it up and she wasn’t scared. She actually thought it was pretty interesting. Maybe it was the tiny Gumby toy she got for xmas…
Regardless, I am deflating it again. Why you ask? Because, it disturbingly resembles a serial killer in the dark.
I didn’t think about it when I first blew it up, but I found out in a heart racing instance yesterday. I was about to leave the house last night and had put stinky in our bedroom. She is a walker hound so she barks…a lot. I ran upstairs really quick to put a bark collar on her. I had already turned the out the lights and just as I reached the top of the stairs, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I just about had a heart attack. I seriously thought someone was up there ready to kill me. It doesn’t help that Gumby’s left arm is raised in the air as if he were wielding a knife.
So, goodbye Gumby, I am putting you away and unless my fear of serial killers sneaking into my house subsides, you will not be coming back out.
That’s right. My daughter’s new, favorite toy was given to us in a bag full of saturated fat and processed apples. She loves it nonetheless.
When you push her lobotomy scar on the top of her head, she says, “It’s so beautiful!”. At that point, my daughter uses sign language to say ‘beautiful’. Trust me, it’s cute no matter how many times she does it.
It was more fun than her face says it was.
True story…kinda. I may or may not have ingested any of it.
It is a life lesson I will never forget, no matter how cute your child is, they have the ability to make you want to throw up.
When my daughter was about 4 months old, she was getting to the point where she liked to be held over my head. It was fun times. She would giggle and I would forget the lack of sleep I just incurred.
This was also her peak time of spitting up. Something I dreaded yet somehow always forgot happened.
We had a feeding/spit-up routine. I would feed her when we got up in the morning and then lay her on the floor under her jungle gym to play for a little bit. Then I would pick her up, she would spit up all over me, and we would clean up.
I forgot that last part on this particular day.
It was like a slow motion action scene in a movie. Me, mouth wide open grinning, and Erin, being lifted above my head after picking her up from under her jungle gym. It was like Niagara Falls. There was nothing I could have done.
I had a choice after this all went down. I was covered in spit-up that I had blown out of my mouth, Erin was covered in spit-up and I really needed to clean my mouth aka vomit.
Being a good mother, I changed her clothes first, laid her on our bed next to dad and went to vomit.
Like I said, true story.
Last year at Christmas, my daughter was only a couple of months old. At that age, she knew what was going on about as much as a kitchen sponge. Basically, she slept through her pictures with Santa.
This year…totally different.
This year the crying started half-way through the transfer from dad to Santa. Not g6ood. We didn’t buy photos and they wouldn’t let me use my own camera.
Sadly, we are going to subject her to Santa again as I want the picture for memories. I’m such a good mom.
My daughter is learning something new every day. We have a book called “Moo, Baa, Lalala”. You may have heard of it. Anyways, I read this book to our little one several times a day, it seems, and recently, when she sees a cow, she says “moo”.
So I asked her one day (to test her) “What does a cow say?”.
She said, “Moo”.
Then I asked her what a sheep says.
She said “…moo”.
There you have it, a sheep says “moo”. Who knew.
I like making things and pretending that I made them with my daughter. She is only 13 months old so that doesn’t happen but I made sure to make it LOOK like she helped…
This is my Thanksgiving turkey banner. I don’t have any Thanksgiving decorations so I decided this would be a cute one and it cost under $20. I bought everything I needed at Michaels and if you are smart, you can find a coupon somewhere. Here are the steps:
1. Gather all your supplies:
- Felt in the colors you want
- Hot glue gun
- Paper and Pencil to draw out stensils
- Googley eyes
2. Draw out the feathers and letters and cut them out of the felt.
3. Cut the banner to the shape you want it to be. *I folded over all the edges and hot glued them together to make the banner double thickness.
4. Arrange the letters and turkey on the banner.
5. Hot glue the individual pieces to the banner.
6. I then cut holes along the sides of the banner to string the ribbon through. It was time consuming but turned out nice.
7. Cut the dowel, if needed, to the size you want.
8. Attach the ribbon at the length you want. *I hot glued the ribbon to the dowel so it didn’t slip when hanging.
Hang in your home!